grandma is with you now. I have to believe that or i would truly go out of my mind. i try so hard to be rational so others won't know. it has been hard.

just read an entry from kaila. so many people loved you and still do.

i am one of them. your favorite mom. 

My darling child, Yesterday I traveled down HWY 25 as far as Flowood/Jackson, a highway we traveled many times when you attended MSA. So many memories. The first trip with the Sentra loaded down including a piano - well it was the toy piano, but still. I didn't know that the struts were shot, and the poor Sentra hobbled down the road as best it could with you at the wheel. You were such an excellent driver. "Mom? I think I missed the exit" and I looked up. Yes, you had so I told you to turn around. When you braked, the car lurched and the rearend started to come around. You didn't panic but steered into the skid just like I'd told you. 

Then there was the horse at the side of the road one night. I posted that story on FB last night/this morning. I didn't post all of it - the part about how silly we got, throwing out things like "We should have told him that we thought the horse was pink and purple but it was hard to see with the landing lights from the spaceship over us"

Ah. And the storm that hit just as we reached Noxubee Refuge. "Mom? Can you see?" and I giggled hysterically almost when I replied "No. Just try to keep it in the road" Oh honey. I miss you so much. I want to be where you are right now. I don't want to have to wait, but I will. I just hope God is merciful. 

What was it you said about Noxapater? Was it night father or dark father? And the way you pronounced Carthage - like Cart-ha=geh? I'll never have another friend like you. I remember that i used to tell you that I wished I had a time machine. I would send you back in time to when I was your age. You'd be my best friend. I didn't have to send you back. You WERE my best friend. You were the biggest part of me, the best thing I've ever "done", my joy, my reason for being. 22 years was more than I expected to get, but I will admit, it just was not enough. I want you here beside me. I will always love my Levi Bunches. 

This photo is probably the last one taken of all the Prisock cousins. When they were trying to decide who should be where in the photo, Levi told me that one of her cousins said, "Levi should be down front. She's probably the most normal person here." I really wish they could have spent more time together because they would understand why Levi was so amused and why her friends will read this and smile. Our quirky loveable Levi. Anything but normal.

Thank you to John and Patsy Prisock for providing this photo, and for the memory of that gathering. I will always remember how you warmly welcomed Levi into the fold. 

An excerpt of her poem Caesura "where we or the universe - pauses for breath. not inhaling or exhaling - a break in conversation: that awkward silence - between the stars."

Rest in Peace Levi.